Breast Cancer Awareness Pink Ribbon
The last several weeks have been a little nerve wracking for me. You see, I had a cancer scare. Yep, that’s right, I thought I might have breast cancer.
A few short weekends ago I was lying in bed, snuggling with the GRRR Girls, when one of them pawed me in a breast. That little action reminded me it was time to do a self breast exam. Now, I’ll be honest here – I don’t do this monthly, because I’m human and I forget. AND – its kind of icky to think about doing, because lord knows what you might find, right? But I do do it with regularity. So there I was, just meandering around, palpating as my gyno taught me to do and there, on my left breast was what felt like a mass of tissue — dare I call it a B I G lump? This was new and really scary. The one good thing – I always look for something good in any bad situation – the one good thing is that it didn’t hurt – the hard mass wasn’t the least bit tender. I’d read somewhere, that lumps can be painful.
Back to the timeline of fear – its the weekend, and there’s nothing I can do until Monday when my physician’s office opens. So I wait, and fret, and get scared, and do online research, and get more scared. Monday rolls around and I call my doctor’s office. Because I say I found a lump, I’m able to get an appointment that week. Its amazing how fast things happen when they think you have CANCER…
My first bit of hopeful news – the Doc reminds me I have dense breasts, and while she doesn’t think its anything more than that, it is time for the annual smooshing of the breast festivities (i.e. mammogram). This year, I get the bonus round: a bilateral sonogram. The tough part is I can’t get an appointment at my favorite radiology center for a week.
So I wait, and try not to fret about what may or may not be going on inside of my body. I wonder if I get the dreaded diagnosis what will happen? What stage am I in? Do I need a mastectomy? Do I have to have chemotherapy? If I do, will I lose my hair? Crap – I don’t look good with short hair – bald would be absolutely hideous on me. And on and on it goes. We’re our own worst enemy. And then I wondered, what if this is fatal? I’m not ready to die, there’s too much left I haven’t done, or seen or tried or learned. I tried to make peace with myself and buck up just like countless other legendary women who have braved breast cancer and beat it. (Former Orlando Anchorwoman, Wendy Chioji, my cousins, my aunt, my mother-in-law to name a few). But the fear kept slipping back in.
The best protection is early detection
Today was the day I went for the mammogram and sonogram at Georgetown University Hospital. I wish I could say that the day dawned and I bravely marched out to meet my fate. Not so much, I went about day, except that today, I couldn’t wear any deodorant. I am thankful (grateful even) it was only 24 degrees F outside. Off I went to the hospital for my procedures and tried to be nonchalant about it, but inside I was quaking. The staff there were lovely, calm and very professional. I guess they see fear in the eyes of a lot of women each day, so they know just what manner to adopt to get us through this relatively fast and painless process.
First up was the breast smoosh for both of the girls. After multiple sets of images were taken from multiple, slightly uncomfortable angles, the technician said that while she was not a radiologist, she wasn’t seeing anything that concerned her. REALLLY!!!!??? My heart was beating so fast at those words. It wasn’t a diagnosis that I could call conclusive right then, but it was something, and sometimes something is what gets you to get through. Buoyed by a small measure of positivity, I waited for the next test – the sonogram. A very handsome Argentinian doctor performed the sonogram, and was immediately forthright with what he was and wasn’t seeing. Yes, there was hard, dense breast tissue right where I said it was, but nope, no cancer. I performed a Happy Dance all through the halls and out to the arctic temperatures that much of the country is suffering. But ya know what, I’ll take the below freezing temperatures today, because I don’t have breast cancer!
Looking back over the last two weeks, I now wonder if my diagnosis had been different – what if if I did have breast cancer? Those Susan G. Komen Walk for the Cure ads were circulating like crazy these last weeks, and I think I saw every single one of them. Talking about giving women with breast cancer hope, a shot at healing and a long life. Frankly, I was afraid they were talking about me, and it could have easily been me.
“According to the National Cancer Institute (NCI), one in eight women who live to be age 80 will develop breast cancer in her lifetime. This makes the disease the second most commonly diagnosed cancer among American women, after skin cancer.”
What does that tell you? Its out there, and in 1 in 8 of us, its in us, waiting to unleash. If you are over age 40 make sure you get yearly mammograms, or at the frequency advised by your doctor. Love yourself and your friends and family enough to check it out, and keep checking it out. Life may not be perfect, but it is worth having the chance to live it.
For once in my life, I don’t have something and its a good thing.
Have a great weekend!
