I am haunted

Ever hear a song, and it just sticks with you, no matter what you do, think about or hear? Yeah, well I have a very haunting song playing through my brain — at all hours of the day or night. It’s been going on for a few days, so I guess either I am an unwitting publicist for Richard Shindell or my subconscious is trying to tell me something…(What that “something” exactly is, I don’t rightly know)

Weirdly, enough, the song (You Again) tells of a former friend “haunting” the singer’s dreams, but the singer does not seem to mind it’s appearance as it is remembered fondly, if a little wistlfully. Okay, I’ll shut up now, and provide the lyrics. But only read them if you’re sure they won’t roll around in your brain, over and over again, for days on end. I swear, its a conspiracy!

YOU AGAIN, BY RICHARD SHINDELL©1992

You again
I dreamed of you again
This time you seemed so real
Winking back at me

My old friend
I feel your ghost again
When I thought you’d gone for real
I’d never say for good

But now I catch my breath and wait
Wide eyed and half awake

Just the wind
Blows through my dreams again
Thought I had closed the window tight
Against the night

But now I catch my breath and wait
Wide eyed and wide awake

But you are half a world away
And there is little now that I can say
But that I’ll always love you
And I’ll always miss you
And you are always welcome here
You are always welcome here

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Dog Story

3 labs

This just in… I laughed so hard I cried. Note: this
is a little blue, so be careful who you let read this.

Three Labrador retrievers — one brown, one yellow and one black were
sitting in the waiting room at the vet’s surgery when they struck up a
conversation. The black lab turned to the brown and said, “So why Are
you here?”

The brown lab replied, “I’m a pisser. I piss on everything
–the sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids. But the final straw was last
night when I pissed in the middle of my owner’s bed.”

The black lab said, “So what is the vet going to do?”

“Gonna cut my nuts off,” came the reply from the brown lab. “They reckon
it’ll calm me down.”

The black lab then turned to the yellow lab and asked, “Why are you here?”

The yellow lab said, “I’m a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers
and trees, I dig just for the hell of it. When I’m inside, I dig up the
carpets. But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole
in my owner’s couch.”

“So what are they going to do to you?” the black lab inquired. “Looks
like I’m losing my nuts too.” the dejected yellow lab said. The yellow
lab then turned to the black lab and asked, “Why are you here?”

“I’m a humper,” the black lab said. “I’ll hump anything. I’ll hump the
cat, a pillow, the table, postboxes, whatever. I want to hump everything
I see. Yesterday, my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending
down to dry her toes, and I just couldn’t help myself. I hopped on her
back and started humping away”.

The yellow and brown labs exchanged a sad glance and said, “So, nuts
off for you too, huh?”

The black lab said, “No, I’m just here to get my nails clipped.”

It’s amazing what you can find when you re-read old emails from your friends… This is pretty cute.

Everything I need to know about life, I learned from Noah’s Ark…

the woodpecker has got to go!
  1. Don’t miss
    the boat.
  2. Remember that we are all in the same boat.
  3. Plan ahead. It
    wasn’t raining when Noah built the Ark.
  4. Stay fit. When you’re 600 years old,
    someone may ask you to do something really big.
  5. Don’t listen to critics; just
    get on with the job that needs to be done.
  6. Build your future on high ground.
  7. For safety sake, travel in pairs.
  8. Speed isn’t always an advantage.
    The snails were on board with the cheetahs.
  9. When you’re stressed, float a
    while.
  10. Remember, the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals.
  11. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow
    waiting.

NOW, wasn’t that nice? Pass it along and make someone else smile, too.

Floridians in the cold

I can’t take any credit for this entry, other than knowing a good turn of phrase when I hear or read it. I received this in an email on November 14th, 2003, from a friend new to Florida. The best for me are the last 2 sentences.

“I see that it’s a balmy 44 degrees there. Yea, I guess when it really gets cold it’s Gortex weather. But heck it’s 65 here and it’s Gortex weather here –go figure. The people here could hardly drive in tee shirts and such when it’s warm. Now their bundled up to the neck, scarves that look like neck braces so they can’t turn their heads, and stocking caps that cover all but tiny eye slits, as though they were trying not to go snow blind in Antarctica.

I noticed that the traffic to the bathroom has increased as people have been drinking large sums of hot coffee as if they were in the slope side warming hut at lunch before going back outside in below zero temperatures to frolic and ski. But the biggest sign of all, is the absence of toes. What was yesterday the land of open toe’d shoes has now become that of covered warmth as the little piggies will now hibernate until the spring thaw.

A strange land indeed.”

Okay, it’s January, and almost everyone I know is complaining about:

  • The weight they put on over the holidays
  • How they couldn’t get to the gym because of a multitudinous mountain of holiday related reasons
  • That it’s time to get back on the old healthy lifestyle bandwagon – pronto before any more damage is done, a really good method is to take beets there are a lot of benefits of beets

Here! Here! I couldn’t agree more. So, now get this… a co-worker who has already been chastised once this month for bringing in the god-forsaken nirvana known as “Dunkin’ Donuts” brought in another batch of the delicious no-no’s today. To add insult to injury, said co-worker is boycotting the gym until the New Years resolutioners have given up their last vestige of commitment to a better body. (i.e. sometime in February should do it for most)

So much for my willpower – I gave in after a mere 2 minutes of hearing that they were within sniffing distance compared to the last time they appeared on our conference table (2 weeks ago) I lasted until 3 pm… C’est le gar – I’ll get back on the treadmill later today.